Well I know what Little Johnny won't add on his list and that is my blogging inconsistency.
No, Little Johnny's probably going to go on thanking God for candy and Iron Man or something similar while his older brother will be thankful for porn.
But hey, there is some good to my inconsistent blogging. For one thing, you guys have missed out on the month and a half of my pining over the guy I currently like and you also missed my extreme fangirling over the Patrick Stump concert I went to two weeks ago. So be thankful for that.
So today is officially Thanksgiving (in America). A day we give thanks and whatnot for the food we will be stuffed with and the football we will watch.
I don't know about you, but I never really understood Thanksgiving. Something about them Puritans who came over with some kind of flower that blooms in May and two other Hispanic chicks and they took advantage of those Indians after invading their space like a mother with her teenager daughter and totally dying all over the place. Why would you want to give thanks for such rudeness?
But what really perplexes me is the turkey tradition.
I remember reading somewhere (it was probably Yahoo! or dictionary.com or someplace similar) that there wasn't even turkey at the first Thanksgiving. So who's the hipster that came up with this turkey bullshit? But more importantly, why did everyone follow suit and do the same thing every year? That shit's too mainstream.
I don't have to ask why they chose a turkey to hunt for, though, because turkeys are just butt ugly creatures. Luckily for the kids out there, they're fun to draw... unless you don't have hands. Then that would be tragic.
Speaking of kids on Thanksgiving, was anyone else forced to describe how Thanksgiving was celebrated at their house when they were in grade school? I honestly don't remember ever celebrating Thanksgiving as a kid, but I definitely remember BSing that piece of crap back in second grade or something. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's where my best BSing skills came about. It was just a lengthy description of a dinner that never happens and my teacher of the time looked at me all impressed and said,
"This is really good! You're a great writer!"
Then every English teacher that came after her said pretty much the same thing.
Except for my fucking English teacher last year. God I hated her.
If there's one thing I'm thankful for, it's that I don't have her this year.
I'm just glad that no one has forced me to give thanks about whatever. If we did that in our family, this is how it would go:
Dad: I'm thankful for finding a job and my healthy family.
Mom: Thank you for this meal and my family.
Sister 1: I'm grateful for finding a job as well and the health of my children, husband, and family.
Sister 2: I'm thankful for my family, having my jobs, and my boyfriend for supporting me.
Sister 3: I'm thankful for finding a direction, my two days off, and my boyfriend for support
Sister 4: I'm thankful for being in school, having this meal with my healthy family, the opportunity to make money and my super nice boss, and my boyfriend for staying by my side (she's a sappy one).
Me: Uhh... In... ter... net...
Is it really a wonder why I asked for a boyfriend for Christmas after we did the Secret Santa drawings?
But then my sister jumps on me by saying, "He's no good for you. I saw his picture; he isn't even good looking!"
He is PLENTY good looking, dammit. This coming from the girl who's dating the nerdy prince of black. Seriously.
But here's to my Secret Santa. If Stace never gets on that boyfriend business, you can definitely take over. If you manage to get this for me, you will definitely be on next year's thankful list.
I accept early Christmas presents as well.
TWGS ♥
No comments:
Post a Comment